Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
