i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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