I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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