If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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