ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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