I got chris browned last night
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you win again, gameday.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
