My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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