sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
