Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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