Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
