just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Randomize
