pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
