Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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