u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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