He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
