May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
