And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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