Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
