We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
