I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
