Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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