When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
