Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
