i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
