I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
