I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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