are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
