definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize