Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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