i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
