Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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