I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
