So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
her facebook's as public as her vagina
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
