you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
A bitchslap is in order.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
