Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
