Don't you send me to vm
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
