There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just found puke in my bra..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
