sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
