My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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