why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
