I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
