So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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