well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
