She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
