none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
