We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
