You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
