is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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