Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
