I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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