Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
