My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
