I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
