Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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