that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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