So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
