i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
