So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
