You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Of course I have a pirate flag
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
