She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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