My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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