Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
