Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize