Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
