In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
