Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
