Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
