So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
