If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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