How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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