did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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