just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
