remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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