like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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