He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
