I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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